my fingers hurt so bad right now, my leg is killing me for being stiff for so long and I just feel so exhausted I cant even cry or freak out or anything. totally picked. I took a pic and just looking at it, I didnt do a clean job or anything and its really bothering me but I just physically cant pick anymore tonight. my fingers wont let me.
pic below under read more for triggers, little blood.
havent been picking
havent even been feeling
Has died down. It usually does eventually. That was one of my longer periods of time where I picked, and I’m not even certain its completely died down.
Back to pretty much only mental compulsions.
The other night I was drinking with friends, everything was fine. My compulsions definitely flare up when im drinking. Generally my friends will purposely trigger some compulsions just because they think its funny. I don’t care either way, I just complete the ritual and move on. It was just so bad that night though.
exhausted.
while a stupid super bowl commercial joking about 2012 comes on.
Cue the panic attack, except I have no pills but my emergency one and that would put me to sleep and Id wake up in the middle of the night freaked out so im just going to sit here and cry until I feel normal again
Its been almost a whole month since I took any anxiety medication. I know I shouldn’t have waited so long but I kept telling myself that if I kept putting off taking some I would magically get better.
Instead my anxiety hit me hard today. It was either lay in bed and throw up until I felt better or face everything and get super super low and here I am, lowest ive been in months. I have about 13 more minutes until my pill should kick in and hopefully I can at least function after that.
I wasn’t going to pick on my birthday and as I was just thinking back at how pro I was I realized that I haven’t picked in like maybe a week before today but I sure as shit picked this morning.
fuck
